Help!

I really don't feel good about myself right now. I don't know why.

Maybe the 'little bug' is at it again.

I am not ashamed to say that I have depression, but I do not want to make that as an excuse every time I feel this way. Making that as an excuse will only make the 'little bug' win the game.

Damn that 'little bug'.

I am raising my hands up. Not because I am surrendering but because I want somebody to grab my hands and help me with what I m going through right now. I must admit it, it's killing me.

My mood swings are terrible. Maybe my roommates are thinking that I am insane because sometimes they see me smiling from ear to ear, joking around and doing my famous pranks. Sometimes they can see me as not my usual self. Having a world of my own.

I'm tired dealing with this and it must be stopped as soon as possible.

I got the chance to have myself check by a proffessional who is dealing with stuffs like this when I went for vacation last March but I do not know why I did not. That is why sometimes I am an idiot. Clear as day.

Everything is affected. The way I act, the way I see myself, the way I think, the way I decide, the way I talk. Evvverryyyytthhiinnggg... and that what scares me.

Yes, honestly, I am scared.

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