Grrrr!

I am angry and mad.

The problem is, I do not know how to handle it.

I just don't feel good right now.

I'm like a volcano waiting to erupt anytime.

Okay, I have to control it. I really have to.

From what I've read from a book, deep breath and freeing your mind with negative thoughts can help control your anger. I'm trying it right now.

Hey, It's a bit effective. I'm beginning to feel fine.....

Nah! It's a joke, It's not working. I don't know what to do now.

R.I.P. Nong' Bahmen

Some months back, I received the sad news that Nong' Bahmen passed away. It took me a few seconds to digest the truth. I was really shocked. 'OMG, the 'silent killer' hit him'.

I know he is taking medications and doing necessary precautions to control his high blood pressure. I don't believe that he is not taking care of himself. He is wise enough to know what is good and bad for him. I don't know, there could be some factors that led to the attack. I can't believe it. I just don't feel that its his time already. No, Not yet.

Life is really unpredictable. Life sometimes is cruel and unfair.

But what can we do?

Nong' Bahmen is one of the few persons left that I respect. He is transparent, what you see is what you get. If he's happy, then he's happy, if he's mad then he's mad, simple as that. No pretensions whatsoever. If he doesn't like you, you will know it. Unlike others, who are pretending to be okay in front of you but says a lot of bad stuff behind your back.

I know he is not perfect. Just like computers, he also have glitches. Just like anyone of us. Those who say or feel that they are perfect are idiots who needs a hard slap to wake them up.

You know, I can talk the whole day with him, whatever topic it may be. There are no dead spots. When he starts talking, you will surely listen. I assure you that. Just like the Energizer bunny, he keeps going and going and going........

I will honestly be missing him. His 'out of bed' hairstyle, the funky sunglasses, the 'supposed-to- be-for-teens-only' earrings and his famous grin. I don't know if I look funny but you know, he always smiles every time he sees me. That is why I feel comfortable with him. A smile can really do wonders.

I know he really had a hard time coping up with reality. I can relate to that. But I know he was moving on. People may have said a lot of bad stuff against him but I know right now they are eating their words. I just hope they don't choke.

Nonetheless, I believe he is happy where he is right now. He knew he left his family in good hands. The future is somehow secured. He knew that his family did everything. He knew that, believe me. I really salute what Pangga, Jing, Karl and all the others did to save his life. No doubt, he felt the love and affection. For me, that made it easy for to him accept his fate.

It's hard for me to shed a tear nowadays. Years of hate and anger made my heart hard as rock. But when I heard the sad news, yes, I admit, I was somehow in tears.

For me, there are no goodbye's, I only believe in 'see you later' and 'see you soon'. Goodbye is not part of my dictionary.

Rest in peace Nong' Bahmen. I know you're with our Creator now. Just give my warm regards to my loved ones up there who went ahead of me.

See you soon......

Some Poems of Mine

The Plea

Enter the many dungeons of my mind
I realized mine was one of a kind

Come on feel my pain inside
I desperately need a place to hide

Sometimes I tremble with fear
A feeling that is heavy to bear

Walk with me now while you can
I know it is easier said than done

Hold my hand and heal my wound
Up till now, cure has not been found

Everything is slowly turning dark now
Do not leave me, make a vow

I wonder what could be next in line
Before it is the end of time

022807

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A warrior’s yell

The agony of falsehood is taking its toll
Every inch of hope left, now begins to fall

Cry hard young man, take your chances now
Before you run out of fields to plow

Every step you make should be specific
No room for error, it must be picture perfect

Time is dripping in a flash like water
If you do nothing, you will surely falter

If the fangs of frustration get you, stand up
Do not lie like dead, gather your senses & get up

Though beaten black & blue, fight back
The battle is not won by just pure luck

Every misery can be veil as treasure
Hold your heart & discover the future

030807

Who do you think you are?

Yeah, who do you think you are? I know I did a mistake, I hurt you and I really regret doing it again.

What I did is something that will never put your world to an end. I assure you that.

There are some things that are really hard for you to understand. Why are you in this mess in the first place?

Yeah, yeah, yeah It's not your fault. Tell that to the whole world. I don't care. Bulls*@#!

I did everthing I can to make everything right, and you know that.

For you to say the things I hated most is like telling me that I really need to get lost.

Don't worry, I will do that.

Goodluck Eden

Yesterday was Eden's last day at the office.

(She's the one at the center)

She was our receptionist. For personal reasons, she resigned from the company and decided to go back to the Philippines.

I've known her for more than 2 years and like most of us, she only wants nothing but the best for her family. That's the reason why she left the Philippines and seek her luck in this oil-rich country.

I can relate with what she have gone through here in the UAE, because I also experienced the same hardships and struggles just to survive here.

If you're not strong enough, you will end up packing your bags before you reach 1 year. That's the truth.

I know somehow Eden found her luck....

A luck that money can never buy. A luck that will forever change her life. A luck that she will forever cherish.

It's true, life only sucks sometimes...

Well, goodluck Eden, be strong, be happy and live life to the fullest!

Help!

I really don't feel good about myself right now. I don't know why.

Maybe the 'little bug' is at it again.

I am not ashamed to say that I have depression, but I do not want to make that as an excuse every time I feel this way. Making that as an excuse will only make the 'little bug' win the game.

Damn that 'little bug'.

I am raising my hands up. Not because I am surrendering but because I want somebody to grab my hands and help me with what I m going through right now. I must admit it, it's killing me.

My mood swings are terrible. Maybe my roommates are thinking that I am insane because sometimes they see me smiling from ear to ear, joking around and doing my famous pranks. Sometimes they can see me as not my usual self. Having a world of my own.

I'm tired dealing with this and it must be stopped as soon as possible.

I got the chance to have myself check by a proffessional who is dealing with stuffs like this when I went for vacation last March but I do not know why I did not. That is why sometimes I am an idiot. Clear as day.

Everything is affected. The way I act, the way I see myself, the way I think, the way I decide, the way I talk. Evvverryyyytthhiinnggg... and that what scares me.

Yes, honestly, I am scared.

-end-

bored and ain't loving it

As usual, I woke up today at around 7 in the morning. Stood up and did some little stretching. I grabbed my little basket containing the stuffs I used when taking a bath and my ever reliable towel.

As I am walking towards the bathroom, I asked myself, 'How long do I really have to do this?' I am not referring to me taking a bath daily. I am referring to my daily routine.

Wake up-Work-Sleep, Wake up-Work-Sleep..........Sigh!

Damn, I am not a metal sheet formed in the likeness of a human, attached with electronic cables and a big red button at the back that says on/off.

I am human dude, in tagalog 'Tao po'

To be frank, I really hate my job right now. It's boring and God knows who I really hate working with. I cannot continue doing this kind of work. But for now, I have to swallow everything and try to make things work out.

I need dough, that's the bottomline....

Few more months and I'm done (hopefully).

Go, Go Lakers!

NBA 2008-2009 season is just a few days away. I can't wait for my Laker's team to get on the floor and kick some butts.

I know they are stronger and deeper now that Andrew Bynum is back plus the addition of a healthy Trevo Ariza.

I believed Kobe and company will do everything they could to bring home the bacon. I really want to see them again in the Finals against last season's tormentor, Boston Celtics.

Zen Master Phil Jackson recently tweaked his starting line-up in a pre-season game against Sacramento Kings. He put regular starter Lamar Odom on the bench and made him as his sixth-man. Well, the experiment went well and I hope it will continue to do so until the regular season, play-offs and the finals.

If I am Phil Jackson, my starting five will be Kobe, DFish, Bynum, Ariza and Pau. First off the bench will be Lamar.

A sixth-man who can give you 14+ points, 10+ rebounds, 3+ assists, a few deflections and swats is a big bonus and without a doubt Lamar can give the Lakers that numbers.

This season's Lakers are blessed with so much talent and depth.

I know they are destined to win it all.

Go Lakers!

Poor Devin Harris!

I have just finish watching the video of NBA Star and New Jersey Nets point guard Devin Harris being humiliated by an unknown London street baller.

I know Devin Harris did not take that 1-on-1 showdown seriously, but hey, to let somebody score on you like that is a disgrace. Can't you play any defense? LOL!

Damn, that was good.

Check out the video and see for yourself.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/ball_dont_lie/post/Video-Devin-Harris-gets-hustled-by-London-stree?urn=nba,114700

Welcome to Oh, LIfe!

I decided to change my blog name. Before it was called "World of theboo", now it's called Oh,Life!

I think it sounds better. LOL!

The tagline for me is really cool. Yup, we have to admit it, life really sucks......sometimes.

From now onwards, I will say anything I want to say.

Yeah, who cares!

The return of the comeback

It's been awhile since my last post.

April, June, July, August & September, 5 months without a post. What the hell?

January, Febraury, March & May, total of 4 postings only. 4 postings??

Well, I don't know, I just got bored and tired of this stuff.

But now I am about to make the greatest comeback evah!

Yup, better believe it.